The Next Four Years Start Now

Last night I and my ex-wife and our son (C1) went to his incoming High School Freshman meeting. She and I have always been civil at worst and positively friendly when it comes to the kids, and last night was no exception – so don’t expect ex-spouse drama here. It was basically designed for the parents who haven’t been in high school for years to see what kinds of things are being offered in terms of electives, extra-curriculars, and just general high school-ness. Words from the Principal, Vice Principal, Guidance Counselor, and then a mob of 8^th graders and their parents stormed the gym to look at the possibilities for next year.  And like most of those parents, I was somewhat in shock at being there. My son is the oldest, and therefore the first one to go through all this, so it was MY first time as well. Watching him roam the gym with some of his friends, and being able to easily find him as he’s the tallest of the lot, filled me with both fatherly pride and parental angst.  I know he has it in him to be an OUTSTANDING student. Right now he’s a GOOD student, but he’s also unmotivated and a procrastinator.  He gets the procrastination from me, I readily admit (just count my entries here for proof). But when I saw him really engage with something, that I know he loves and will love as he learns more, it did my heart good. The kid is a really good artist, and has a fantastic sense of the visual. He chose Graphic Design as an elective and got very excited about it, while still trying to play it off as cool among his friends. Ah yes, the friends

Living about two hours from the kids, I know most of their friends by reputation more than interactivity. My ex has a pretty good sense of the kids that all three of ours hang out with.  C1 has a couple friends he’s been tight with for a few years, and some he’s become closer to in about the past year.  The new friends? Aces, all of them.  Good kids, smart, involved. C1 went out for the school play/musical this year and scored the role of Captain Hook and he’s really enjoying it.  The issue is one or two of the longer term friends. One is in need of some serious meds to just calm the hell down.  Two of them who happen to be girls have this love/hate thing going on. They’re in a “friend space” with him now, but caused him MONTHS of pain last year. Not really romantically – nothing he’ll admit anyway – but just being not nice friends. I want him to move away from some of the kids who I think are going to hold him back. Not consciously, but he wants to do what they do, where I’d be happier if the reverse was true. If THEY want to do what HE wants to do. He’s always excelled when he’s a bigger fish in a smaller pond, but he also likes to clown and joke and his old friends give him that audience. 

I’m aware that a good portion of this is simply parental angst, and getting external validation that my little boy isn’t so little any more. He’s also 5’8” which is a healthy reminder. I’m adopted and he became my first blood relative when he was born.  He’s also the only boy. I simply LOVE that kid to pieces. It’s hard to believe, and I often don’t want to believe, that my little kid is getting older. But I also see what he’s got going for him, and last night reminded me that he will have TONS of opportunity to grow, and yes, push some limits. But, my soon to be freshman still lets me tuck him in, will bend his head so I can give him a kiss on his unruly hair, and will still say “I love you” to me on the phone, even if he’s with his friends. The past fourteen years have been awesome, and as hard as it is to see it happen, the next four are going to be even better.

Doing My Who Diligence as a Father

This past weekend, I had a golden opportunity in this heyday of modern Doctor Who. I was able to get my kids, ages 7, 9 and 14, to watch a full 4-episode story of the Classic series. Understand, all three of them have seen various episodes of New Who, and my son (14) has a VERY passing familiarity with the Classic series. Key though, is that he hadn’t ever sat down to watch a full story, and my 2 girls had never seen ANY Classic story.

On Thursday night, my wife was in a rare (for her) mood to watch some Old School Doctor Who. OK, I suggested it and she agreed to it. She is a massive fan of Leela, and we have already seen most of her run, leaving few choices that wouldn’t be repeats or Underworld. Surprisingly, one we hadn’t yet watched was Image of the Fendahl, so there was our choice. We watched the first two episodes, then needed to call it a night. However, on Saturday she asked if we could finish it. Well, of course! Once the girls are in bed, we’ll fire it right up! Then the moment came that will ever warm my heart. “Why don’t we all watch it?” YES! Family Doctor Who night! I was giddy, the wife was amused, and the kids were excited… even the 14 year old who just agreed to watch an almost 40 year old TV show with his family on a Saturday night.

We settled in our family room and it began – and I was maybe a minute into it before my parental warning sirens went off.  Monsters? Check. Mysterious old ladies? Check. Oh yes, the Doctor assisting a suicide in the fourth episode? Check and double check. What on earth had I done?? Now my kids aren’t completely innocent to filmic violence and scary things – we’ve already done the Star Wars films (yes, all 6), the Avengers, Labyrinth, even ET which still makes me tear up 23 years later. But I felt this was different. To a degree I was right. My older daughter wasn’t scared by the Fendahleen which I thought she would, but LOST HER MIND over Ma Tyler’s fright in the woods. The suicide of Stael? Nobody blinked. But when Thea became the full Fendahl Core, her golden eyes unnerved all three of them. 

Then, it was over! Cute scene in the TARDIS with K9, theme song and done. I was worried what scars I may have given my kids so I asked what they thought. The 9-year old hated “when the old lady was screaming”, the 7 year old just “liked it”, and my son thought it was cool that Smaug’s mom was in the story. Bedtime came, everyone slept through the night, and no reports of nightmares from the two younger ones. I wouldn’t have expected the boy to admit to one even if he had stayed awake with the vision of a Fendahl over his bed.

I feel that as both a Dad and a Doctor Who fan, I had done my proper diligence by presenting this story. Sure it was a little scary, although not in the ways I could have predicted. I mean, not one was disturbed by the glowing skull? I’ve seen it before and Eustace always seems creepy to me! Gentle reminders that “it’s just a show, remember” seemed to be all that were needed to comfort the girls. My wife’s girl-crush on Leela remains unabated, while I’m pretty sure my son has a “crush” crush on Louise Jameson. As is right and proper, frankly. My only concern now is…. What episode should be next for family Who night?