Last night I and my ex-wife and our son (C1) went to his incoming High School Freshman meeting. She and I have always been civil at worst and positively friendly when it comes to the kids, and last night was no exception – so don’t expect ex-spouse drama here. It was basically designed for the parents who haven’t been in high school for years to see what kinds of things are being offered in terms of electives, extra-curriculars, and just general high school-ness. Words from the Principal, Vice Principal, Guidance Counselor, and then a mob of 8th graders and their parents stormed the gym to look at the possibilities for next year. And like most of those parents, I was somewhat in shock at being there. My son is the oldest, and therefore the first one to go through all this, so it was MY first time as well. Watching him roam the gym with some of his friends, and being able to easily find him as he’s the tallest of the lot, filled me with both fatherly pride and parental angst. I know he has it in him to be an OUTSTANDING student. Right now he’s a GOOD student, but he’s also unmotivated and a procrastinator. He gets the procrastination from me, I readily admit (just count my entries here for proof). But when I saw him really engage with something, that I know he loves and will love as he learns more, it did my heart good. The kid is a really good artist, and has a fantastic sense of the visual. He chose Graphic Design as an elective and got very excited about it, while still trying to play it off as cool among his friends. Ah yes, the friends
Living about two hours from the kids, I know most of their
friends by reputation more than interactivity. My ex has a pretty good sense of
the kids that all three of ours hang out with.
C1 has a couple friends he’s been tight with for a few years, and some
he’s become closer to in about the past year.
The new friends? Aces, all of them.
Good kids, smart, involved. C1 went out for the school play/musical this
year and scored the role of Captain Hook and he’s really enjoying it. The issue is one or two of the longer term
friends. One is in need of some serious meds to just calm the hell down. Two of them who happen to be girls have this
love/hate thing going on. They’re in a “friend space” with him now, but caused
him MONTHS of pain last year. Not really romantically – nothing he’ll admit
anyway – but just being not nice friends. I want him to move away from some of
the kids who I think are going to hold him back. Not consciously, but he wants
to do what they do, where I’d be happier if the reverse was true. If THEY want
to do what HE wants to do. He’s always excelled when he’s a bigger fish in a
smaller pond, but he also likes to clown and joke and his old friends give him
that audience.
I’m aware that a good portion of this is simply parental
angst, and getting external validation that my little boy isn’t so little any
more. He’s also 5’8” which is a healthy reminder. I’m adopted and he became my
first blood relative when he was born.
He’s also the only boy. I simply LOVE that kid to pieces. It’s hard to
believe, and I often don’t want to believe, that my little kid is getting
older. But I also see what he’s got going for him, and last night reminded me
that he will have TONS of opportunity to grow, and yes, push some limits. But,
my soon to be freshman still lets me tuck him in, will bend his head so I can
give him a kiss on his unruly hair, and will still say “I love you” to me on
the phone, even if he’s with his friends. The past fourteen years have been
awesome, and as hard as it is to see it happen, the next four are going to be
even better.
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